So June is a tough month…the month of Fathers Day and our wedding anniversary. Some years they will land on the very same day and some years just days apart like this year. There is not a day or hour that goes by that I do not think of Doug, but June is a harder month than most. Who am I kidding? I think they are all still gut-wrenching to live through. That I keep on living and witnessing our sons growing and achieving and I continue to have birthdays and grow older and he is not here for any of these things or to celebrate his birthday (which was 9 days before mine). We often talked retirement together, not how we’d survive as a family of 3 without him. So back to June…the month of many others’ anniversaries and weddings occurring and people celebrating father’s day with the father of their children…and then there is us. Tonight I decided to read the board that many were able to sign at Doug’s funeral. Many were not able to because it ran out of space. I had several moments where I read from people that I don’t even remember seeing at his funeral. Clearly they were there, but that day was a foggy day for me. And something I saw from those who had known Doug for so long repeated on the board over and over…his nickname “huggy bear“. I’m pretty sure his football coaches at good ol’ CCHS called him that. The reason…Doug was a hugger. He would hug anyone and do it well. Its ironic because I am the opposite; I only hug those I am very close to. But as I type this with tears in my ears I remember that nickname well…since we became close friends in junior high school. And oh my goodness how I miss his hugs. Its been 2 years and 8 months and some days since I have had one of those famous hugs.
Isaiah 41:10 fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.