In reading book upon book relating to grieving and the widowhood process, the general conclusion is for most of those with this pain and heartache, year 2 is far harder than year one with the absence of their spouse. I can say undeniably that is the truth in my case. It really hits home that he isn’t coming back. Each holiday or birthday or anniversary that rolls around for the 2nd time is like a punch to the stomach. Sounds dramatic, buts its the truth. People seem to think that the widow is doing so well by year 2, because she is living and keeping the family they created together and functioning. What really happens is those around us move on with their lives (as they need to do) and yet time seems to stand still for us with the gaping hole in our family. So this year the boys’ 2nd Fathers Day without Doug here and the 2nd time our wedding anniversary came and went without Doug to celebrate with seemed extra gut wrenching. June 21 is what would have been our 13th wedding anniversary. I never dreamed that this would be what our anniversaries would consist of…Doug in Heaven, me here, looking through our wedding photo albums with tears of sadness. But that’s exactly how June 21 was this year. 2 days prior on June 19 was the boys 2nd fathers day without Doug. So we visited and decorated Doug’s graves for these events. The boys painted & weatherproofed their crosses for Daddy’s graveside for Fathers Day. I added the ❤ emoji balloon because they love emojis and also for our wedding anniversary. I also added the You and Me sign which means so many things, the least of which is a favorite Dave Matthews Band song of Doug’s, that he would sing to me. And also added a new Auburn floral arrangement. We followed a UPS truck all the way to the cemetery entrance.