Doug’s Truck

on June 10th I posted this to my Facebook page:
So Doug’s truck is finally home. In our driveway. Thanks to my brother in law and sis in law for keeping it these past 8 months. Thanks to my father in law and mother in law for bringing it back home. I’m going to have to talk with boys when I pick them up at school today in case they get excited to see his truck in the driveway. We have discussed it and I thought they were ready. I still hope that’s the case. One glance inside and I’m not sure I’m ready. So just prayers the boys still understand when they see Daddy’s truck at home today.

Overall it went well, thanks to many prayers. His truck now stays parked in a different location in our driveway than when Doug was alive to park it, which helps. To elaborate on my glance inside initially, I of course broke down. His yellowed Sunday newspaper sitting in his console he bought 2 days before his death tears tears and more tears)…his clothes that he left in his car…his favorite hat on the dashboard…his favorite packs of chewing gum left unchewed…his sunglasses…I could go on. But most of all, the fact that his smell is no longer in the truck. It smells musty, old, untouched. I cannot make the decision on the future of his truck. Of course selling it would help us financially. But the thought of never seeing it again causes a major ache in my heart. And everyone needs access to a pickup truck, or so I have convinced myself. With it sitting in the driveway, its like he is still here with us. And I truly believe he is with us as our guardian angel.

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About twicethekisses

I am learning daily the joys and trials of raising twin boys. This blog is to document the journey that includes double of everything, including twice the kisses.
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